Self-Hatred
Basically it's happened to most people who have depression and mental issues, self-hatred. The part when you hate yourself just for the things you did in the past and how you are a wreck and such, self-hatred. I started feeling more of that ever since I moved to college. And it's most likely that the fact that I'm just not having a good day most of the time. It's most likely passed down from my dad. So in that being said, it's a problem that I have to solve but the issue with my personality type, INTPs, we make it hard to open up to therapists. So in that case being said, I don't ever know if I will get my issue fixed. Just thinking in general, if I will be able to have a better life than now. Me socializing with other people, is something I can't do irl but can do in Discord. Which is again normal in INTPs.