It's been too long.

Hi people who read my journal. Probably not much but whatever. I am right now just typing out my feelings at the moment (11:01 PM PSD April 25). Right now I am going through an existential crisis and I am right now feeling like utter crap and utter pain. If no one knows my MBTI Type, I am an INTP. INTPs are prone to procrastination and existential crises. As of now, if you are reading this, two of my assignments are 1 minute past due time and I am right now struggling as I have hit my peak when I decided to do my homework right now. I decided maybe if it's better to do it later, I'll be fine but then I felt worse. The part of me is like, I can't learn my lesson at all if I keep making the same mistakes over and over again. No one else around me can't relate besides the people on Discord. As of now, I am writing right now just feeling upset about myself and I can't seem to grab a hold of myself. If only I could actually change myself, which technically I can but the willpower that I have is miniscule, it would be a miracle and I could break out of this whole situation that I have with myself. No longer the willpower for me to play Beat Saber is huge. It's only a tiny miniscule and it might be the same for the other activities and hobbies as well. I am currently right now struggling as I wanna give up but yet there are other reasons why I can't give up, those being, me trying to major in Graphic Design but yet somehow still struggle but yet I have to for myself to get this done with, getting all that financial aid and not letting it go to waste. I am right now just trying to get myself to finish working on my homework but alas failure and my brain is very upset and disappointed which is very understandable due to the time that I have given up to my other priorities, such as YouTube, and Gaming. Unfortunately with greater things come along a huge risk, and that is time. The time I could've had is 2 weeks for me to do my assignments. But unfortunately I am now no longer able to operate as intended. I have no more motivation to do anything.

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