October 6, 2021

It's been a while since I posted here on my journal but a lot of events happened throughout the upcoming days of August and September. Mainly I would like to start off with continuing off the previous post I made about me starting my driver's written test exam. As much as I studied hard enough to make it, I went on September 4, 2021 to start my driver's exam. My mom knew right away that I would pass as she had the mother instincts of her son passing. She was right though, I did pass and I managed to get my permit. Although I can technically drive with a licensed driver on the passenger side, I have not yet started practicing due to my work in college needed to be prioritized. Things were all going well for me this year, having all the luck I can grasp and take. However, on the other hand, things for my mom's family haven't been that sweet. During the previous months of Summer 2021, my mom rented an apartment nearby us for both my grandfather and my grandmother to take care of them both. He wasn't able to drive no longer and we were forced to celebrate birthday parties with him in his apartment. The first thing I heard about him when he moved was that he had back pain and had to use a walker with the assistance of my mom, my aunt or my uncle or my grandmother. It seemed to be going downfall as I had instincts right away, that since he had back pain, his time was coming shortly, but at that time, I didn't expect in the later coming months that I would be hit hard with such a dramatic message. After celebrating my grandfather's birthday on August 25, 2021, the next day I was told by my father that my grandfather has cancer after doing an X-Ray checkup on his body. Hearing that first thing, I couldn't fathom how much he was going to die since I was heard that it is most likely unrecoverable. At that time too, I still wasn't realizing how much he was going to die very soon and I was not expecting it throughout the time. The first time when I heard that he had cancer, I couldn't react and I ended up shedding tears in my own room. I wanted to spend as much time as I could with him, however that didn't happen. I was hoping to have some events to celebrate with him but seeing how his health deteriorated quickly, there wasn't much time on my family's hands. On October 2nd, 2021, he was brought to the hospital on life support in an induced coma. My reaction again looking at the face of him in life support, I couldn't bring myself to think clearly and I ended up shedding tears again. I couldn't believe that this was happening, that his life was going to be taken away. I wanted him to live longer, if there was such a miracle that could make it change. However, on October 6, 2021, his life was taken away as reported by my mother on text. When I read the messages, that he was gone, my heart sank immediately. When she said he died, I couldn't believe that everything was happening. His last moments having a special occasion being celebrated was his birthday being celebrated alongside with my cousin on August 25th, 2021. Which I don't think anyone was expecting in the next 2 months that he would be gone right away. The things I regretted honestly was back in 2019, when everyone went to the Philippines and I wasn't going. I rejected the offer thinking that it wouldn't be a good place to go but since everyone was on-board, along with my sister, it was too late for me to change my mind. If I was able to go again, I was wishing that all the family would go but unfortunately I wasn't thinking that my grandfather would be leaving us in such an unprecedented time. My grandfather, he was amazing, bringing smiles and love to others, sharing and receiving all the emotions that people were sharing to him. He spent a lot of good times, shared with family, dealt with our hardships in life and also spent the time taking care of his grandchildren, including me, during the past years of his life. As much as I wished that he would live longer, he is now in heaven as an angel, resting in peace, having no longer any pain and sufferings that he was having during the final months of his life. May you rest in peace my loving grandfather, I will make sure that right away, that my mom and my dad, my grandmother and my sister will be in good health. Not only that I will also make sure that I will look after myself as well. Thank you for the wonderful memories that you have shared with everybody. I also apologize to anyone who is reading my journal, that this is one of the more lengthy posts but this had to be written down in my journal as it is a historical and memorable moment that I shall keep and remember.